Wednesday was my friend Gerry’s* birthday and after a round of trivia I met him and some friends at Cobalt to experience that which is the ongoing Cobalt Idol Karaoke Contest. No, I’m not making that up. No I’m not singing — I’m more of a Pip than a Gladys Knight — but Gerry was swindled into participating. Gerry’s a bit of a karaoke nut, you see. Sure, he pretends like he’s awful and it’s all a big goof, but I’ve seen him a few times and he’s actually pretty good. (Remind me to tell you about the time he sang I Touch Myself at the Green Lantern one day. (Wait… I guess I just did.))

Anyway, although Gerry was voted off the contest last week, losing to some guy that was kind of a “meh” singer but apparently is popular at the bar (whatever that means,) one of our other friends, John, was still in the running.

Last week, John closed the night with a rousing rendition of Man of La Mancha that nearly tore the roof off the place. Unfortunately, John was voted off this week. (Also losing to Mr. Meh.)

John was robbed.

After the contest, Gerry bravely sang Photograph (in the style of Def Leppard.) I have to admit, channeling my inner Paula Abdul, it wasn’t the best song choice for him but it sure was entertaining. At several points, when he was trying to hit the high notes, I thought the microphone was cutting out. Nope, it was just his voice.

Anyway, a bit later I got drunk and had my ass grabbed by someone’s creepy grandfather just as Gerry stepped on stage to sing I Hate Everything About You.

I give you… Gerry (in the style of Ugly Kid Joe.)