It was probably due to all of the adrenaline rushing through my body, and helped by the fact that one of the bartender’s friends stopped by to help out, but today wasn’t as bad as last night… until about 7:30, then shit hit the fan. We ran out of backup well Vodka like, 3 times and a manager had to come from wherever managers seem to go just when they need to put the computerized liquer pourer doo-dads on and tape them down all fancy like.
That sucked.
There was like a bajillion empty bottles in the hall way waiting to be replaced and all the bartenders forgot completely about their obsession with limes and began to yell “WE NEED MORE VODKA!!!!!!!!!” over and over at the top of their lungs. It was like an episode of that suck-ass Danny Bonadeushie show except this time I actually cared.
Fags from Dumaine to St. Peter were sobering up quickly and damnit, we can’t have that at 6pm on a Sunday during Decadence.
Then….
Some foulness happened that even I was traumatized over.
I hear someone scream this: “VINCENT!!! THE URINAL IS OVERFLOWING AND IT NEEDS TO BE FIXED!!!!!!!!!”
Oh hell no, right? Nothing in my wildest imagination could have conjured up what I saw as I turned the corner into the men’s room. There is no fucked up Japanese porn that could prepare me for coming face to face with a brushed steel urinal trough with a foot of piss in it with a random assortment of condoms, empty cigarette packs and water bottles. Fuck you is all that came to mind.
Then the truly mortifying part happened when I ask for a plunger… I’m told to look in the breakroom’s bathroom. This seemed like a perfectly reasonable suggestions until all I come up with is a toilet plunger with a seven-motherfucking-inch handle and rubber surgical gloves.
No amount of gloves, in the UNIVERSE, even fancy full length ones with rinestones and a fur fringe, would get me to go elbow deep into a urinal of piss and cum in a gay bar during decadence.
To borrow my favorite quote from Mrs. Joan “Oh no babe, I ain’t the one.”
They eventually closed the bathroom down until someone comes and fixes it in the morning.
